HypnoBirthing® UK

[Kate]

Hi there

I'm really keen to have a HB (desire for it to be as natural as possible combined with an aversion to needles etc) but my husband isn't convinced that it's really as good as I've heard.

Has anyone else had this problem How did you manage to get your partner to see the light?

Any suggestions welcomed!!

Kx

[Danielle]

I always tell partners (whether its husband mum, friend) that whatever the mum believes will help her will help her, so no matter how weird they think it is to support her and keep negative thoughts to themselves.

I have had two Hb births, first induced, I had gas and air, second completely natural at home and no pain, my partner still thinks its a fluke and that having babies is easy.

[Kieren]

Hi

Interestingly before the availability of NHS hospital beds women would have their babies at home, however because the beds were provided by the NHS (and they had to be used) women were gradually convinced that it was the best option for them!. Now, ironically, to save money, the government are setting an initiative to put women back in their homes to have a HB.

You are more likely to be in control within your own surroundings - you will have a midwife (2 at the birth) with you, usually one that you have got to know during the antenatal period - so you will have built a relationship with her. Because you are in your own home, you naturally will have a relaxed anchor for your self - an association with rest in the bedroom or you could have a birthing pool downstairs. Because of this the midwife is more likely to be relaxed and give you more time to have the baby naturally without constantly worrying about time constraints that are often set in the delivery suites - obstetricians can be a little too keen to jump in too early at times, so characteristically hospital births lead to more assisted deliveries (Vontouse or forcepts) and caesarian sections.

If an emergency occurred at home, the midwife is adequately trained to respond and get you to the hospital where they can continue your care.

The only time I would recommend hospital over the home is if you live absolutely miles from any maternity hospital - just in case.

This is just my opinion and you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable - for your comfort will in the end allow you to have a better experience!

[deb moxon]

My husband wasn't convinced at all before the birth of our daughter but he pretended and played the part well. He is now so convinced that he would train as a practitioner if they did one in the school holidays!

If he really isn't convinced and you think it will affect your birth have a different birthing partner and have your partner there as more physical support ie getting water, food etc.

Deb x

[mia]

Hi Kate,
Sorry this reply is a little late. I hope you get to read it. My advice would be to get him to a class by whichever means you can (maybe not trickery and deception, but something close if necessary! ). The reason I say this is because the first part of the course sells itself. In my experience, dads love it because it makes so much sense! The theory is logical, they like to believe that births needn't be awful, and with regards the self-hypnosis angle, there are demonstrations done in class which cannot be ignored. I love doing the classes, because the most skeptical of dads are usually the most enthusiastic by the end of those first 3 hours. So, just get him to the class, if nothing else, to keep you happy!Good luck with it! Mia

[katsanders]

Hi
I'm about 10 weeks, very convinced about hypnosis having used it before, but DH is equally convinced it sounds crap and waste of his valuable time. I don't think I have explained it very well... Do you think it's reasonable to say "ok, come to one class and i you think it's still rubbish, I'll get someone else" (although I don't want anyone else I'd hate to have all that negative energy in the room!)
ARgh - I just can't understand why he's so sceptical! Please, any advice at all very gratefully received.
Thanks,
Katherine

[eleanorcopp]

have you considered asking your local hypnobirthing teacher if he can chat to some fathers she has taught ? he may feel more at ease talking to another man, and understand the benefits for him .
He may remain sceptical but at the moment but thats because he doesnt know how good it is yet or how he will benefit from it.
also he may find it difficult to consider his role in the birth because its 30 weeks away.
hope these may be useful suggestions , eleanor

[katsanders]

Thank you, I appreciate your suggestions. I am going to call my local teacher and ask if it's ok to bring a total sceptic along! I've had another chat with im and said that it is very important to me, I honestly believe it will make a difference to my own experience and that if he still hates it after the first meeting, I will try and find someone else to replace him. I think that is enough to get him along and (fingers crossed) when he realises that it is a practical course and no just some hippy stuff (like he expects from me!) he'll be convinced.

Wish me luck!

[eleanorcopp]

and the thing is it will make a difference to him too , which may worry him a little. It is brilliant , it will make perfect sense so i rather than wish you luck , i encourage you to enjoy it !
eleanor

[katsanders]

Just to let everyone who was so helpful know, my husband has been to all three of our five classes so far and is a convert! He was particularly amazed at the birth videos and by watching me 'go under' - even when he was reading the scripts I got him to go by promising if he thought it was complete rubbish, he only had to come to one of them and now he is telling his colleagues all about it, and is a great comfort to me. I am actually looking forward to birthing my baby, even though I know i'm not guaranteed a 'video perfect' hypno-birth, the relaxation and confidence I feel every day will be fantastic come the big B day!

[sarahjohnson]

Kat, that's fantastic and all power to him for keeping an open mind.