HypnoBirthing® UK

[amylou]

Hello

I am 26 weeks pregnant with my first child, and I am looking forward to hypnobirthing classes, and currently reading Marie Mongan's book. I first heard about Hypnobirthing on 'Richard & Judy' a while ago, and since forgot all about it as I wasn't looking to get pregnant. Now pregnant, I am focussing on having a relaxed, natural, beautiful birth, with my partner, and I am dis-heartened by the lack of interest by people I know, especially those who have had children already.

I have not yet spoke to my midwife about this birth choice, but I am apprehensive, I have not yet had the classes and feel a little out of my depth at the moment trying to explain to people what hypnobirthing actually is as I feel un-educated in its teachings myself. What I do know is that I have never been someone who just accepts things, and I have never wanted to sit and watch the 'average' birth, I do believe birth should be viewed and experienced as simply natural and beautiful and not painful and frightening, I know hypnobirthing is for me, and I hope this forum helps to reassure me of my choice, our choice, as I feel a little alone with it all at the moment.

Our baby is expected on 6th June (ish)
Very best wishes, hope to chat soon xX
amy

I live in Yorkshire too, so anyone running classes in this area, any information would be greatly appreciated, thankyou.

[BonnieL]

Hi Amy! I found people to be like that when I was pregnant, I think people get the view that it is quite a "hippie" thing to do, when in fact, it isn't, it makes complete medical sense!! I ended up not saying too much about it because everyone just seemed to want to tell you that there was no way you could have an easy birth and before I new it they were all competing to have the worst birth stories!!I just quietly removed myself from these conversations, like you I totally believed in it and that is what got me through these kind of situations, my husband was really supportive as well.
You sound like you have the right frame of mind though, just don't let these people get you down.
I didn't find my midwives that supportive, so again, didn't say too much to them either, I kind of got the feeling, that they would have loved to say "I told you so " and see me not getting the birth I wanted.
However, after our wonderful birth, it was great to talk about how excellent it all was and that we would do it again in a minute!! People were expecting us to say it was awful!!
So my advice is just keep quietly confident, you know your doing the right thing and don't let people try and colour your way of thinking. And you won't be alone, I'm sure there is plenty of people on here who have great stories and encouragement to give you!!
Happy birthing!

Bonniex

[amylou]

Aaaw thankyou Bonnie that's lovely to hear, I am very pleased you found the belief and confidence to have a beautiful birth, one that you wanted, despite others negative slant on things.
I have now started removing myself from certain people's conversations, like you say, especially about birth, as yes, mothers seem competative with the 'worst' stories, its really strange.
My partner is incredibly positive about the whole thing, I think at the moment he just doesn't see how important he is, and will be, but obviously we will be helped with this through the classes
Thankyou for the reply, support, and sharing of your experience Bonnie, I really appreciate it, and I hope you and your family are all well xX

[Helen1]

HI Amy

I am 15 weeks pregnant and recently stumbled across hypno birthing. I have read quite a lot on the internet and it sounds too good to be true. I have been met with the same sceptism and sarcastic remarks from friends and family but want to give it a try.

My only worry is its quite a lot of money if I get there and think "what the..?"


Im also worried about attending the course with my husband as he is the not he most receptive person to this sort of stuff and worried I will feel embarrassed in front of him.

Did anyone else feel like this who could give me some reassurance?
Helen x

[eleanorcopp]

i think you are articulating many women's concerns, there are a few points to respond to... 1st.if you have read alot about it and want to do it , then do it , or ask yourself truely what youre objections are. friends can be unkind when you are doing something they havn't done as its in our culture to be negative about childbirth. also they can be jealous of you're optimism, steer clear of these people of just don't enter conversations where this topic will be up for query. 2nd money , it is money well spent but to assure you of this i would ask to speak to someone you're nearest practitioner has taught , this should instantly reassure you about how important attending the course is , and what good value for money it is. 3rd , partner , its normal for them to be less motivated than you , but its up to you to inform him its important for you all he attends and supports you ,so once you have decided its a good decision , he will demonstrate his support by attending with you . if you are still unsure , i am not sure how you will be convinced ! eleanor

[ockysmith]

[Danielle]

I just wanted to add that I taught a mum and only met the dad once, on the last session, the couple were in the process of moving to the area and he worked away... anyway he told me he was skeptical, he had seen his other kids, different mother be born, I told him to just support the mum in any way she wished and that if she believed then it would help her. I had seen that the mum was really committed. Anyway he called me after the birth (most mums call me a few days later, its not very often a dad does). He told me how fantastic and quick it all was, how she had been so great I think he was on the phone for about 20 minutes and why had his ex not done this and caused such a fuss?

[deb moxon]

Hi Amy,

I am a practitioner in Halifax and as I am just returning to work after having my hypnobirthed daughter, am only doing small groups or individual couples at the min. We could arrange to do the first session and see how you feel - and as mentioned in an earlier post, if you weren't happy, just pay for the part you've done.

As for your partner - my husband was a cynic from the start - he tried very hard not to show it but I knew him too well. However, he was willing to give it a go as he knew I wanted it and I have to say he is a true believer now - insofar as saying if they ran a practitioner course in a school holiday he would train!! It may help your partner to chat to another partner who has done it. And yes the attitude of some people stinks - I do think there's an element of jealousy there - that you are brave enough to do something that's different from the norm - but you'll be happy you did it - you need to set up a tripwire in your brain to kick in all the good stuff you've already read in the bookto couterbalance what people say to you - you know it's not going to be like that for you - you and your baby will be in control, relaxed and peaceful.

As you are in Yorkshire you may have seen us on the tv in the summer - some of our birth was on a Calendar programme called 'Is it worth it?'

Where are you? - I have had mothers giving birth in Bradford and Halifax and they have both had good experiences, I know midwives in Dewsbury who say that Dewsbury is fairly open-minded too. I had my daughter in Bradford and can't praise the midwives enough really.

Send me an email and I'll send you my contact details if you like.

But either way - don't give up on it, it will be rewarding however you do it.

Good luck

Deb

[Paula I]

Hi Amy,

I am am 34 weeks pregnant and have been attending a Hypnobirthing course. Like you, I have experienced lots of negativity from people saying it will all go out of the window once the pain kicks in. I will be more open afterwards and can talk about the actual experience. It;'s strange but I feel like someone has let us in on a big secret that only a few people know about!!

My husband I am sure was a little skeptical at first but he came along and basically says that he will do anything that will help make the birth more comfortable for me. We will find out for ourselves how well it works for us when we get to the birth. But for me, I am already getting lots of benefits - I am so much more positive about the prospect of the birth, I feel as though I can be in control of the birth, that I can prepare in many ways...in fact I cant wait for it now I am focusing my energy on positive rather than negative things such as what drugs I should be having.

I hope that since you initially posted this message you have progressed on your your personal journey, beneftitted from a course and found your midwife to be positive.

Best of luck to you, I hope we both have great stories to post on here in June! Paula xx

[Danielle]

People said the same to me when I had my first baby, that as soon as I felt the first contraction I would be screaming for an epidural. I had gas and air with Josh, he was induced and it was quite hard to stay relaxed. The for the second baby my partner asked if I was sure I could do it again and I said it had to be easier than being induced. My second baby was born completely naturally, not induced and no pain relief, my midwife was really amazed even though she had been to a hb birth before she still doubted I could do it. Its almost as though as soon as they hear you want a natural birth they try telling you all the worst stuff possible.

[amylou]

Thankyou for all the positive and open responses everyone
I have found a great hypnobirthing practitioner, and she is giving me lots of confidence, and my partner is too
I've been surprised by the support after feeling like I'm justifying my hypno-natural-home-birth, some people are willing to listen and accept your choices which is nice, afterall it's support mums need, not permission.

I still cannot believe how centred on pain, complications and drugs, birth is in mainstream society It hurts to read posts on pregnancy forums of women who are just scared or worried about everything, it's great for me though in that it re-affirms to me that I am focussed on my birth choices, those being relaxing, breathing my baby down, and having a beautiful experience at home with my partner.

My midwife was not very happy about my homebirth decision, in fact after the appointment I came home and cried because it was just the worse appt. She focussed on when I would let her take me to hospital if she decided I "can" have a homebirth. Then she focussed on my blood pressure, my baseline is 115/80, I thought this was fine, she made a point of how it could change in an instant Then she asked if I wanted a "homebirth because of hypnobirthing", I didn't take that as a positive question but she never clarified her interest in the question, and I simply said, "No, I can use my hypnobirthing teachings anywhere."

I see her again wednesday, and the homebirth "assessment" will be in a couple of weeks or so, neither I am relishing, I feel so angry and sad that I have to feel like this with my midwife, I want what's best for me and baby but feel I have to fight for it, it's awful, though I am attending a homebirth group next week and there are midwifes there so hopefully that will help me too.

Thankyou for listening x