HypnoBirthing® UK

[Lin79]

Hi,
My name is Lina and I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my second child. I used hypnobirthing with my first child, I did not attend any classes but bought the Marie Mongan book and CD and listened to the CD everyday for most of my pregnancy.
I had my daughter at 37 weeks, after 5 days of on/off labour, most of it was totally manageable and pain free, and I only felt the need to go into hospital 5 hours before my daughter was born. Unfortunately things went a bit wrong then. My midwife did not 'believe' that I was in labour and kept trying to send me home. I nearly did but something told me I should stay, she mostly left me alone in a room, but at one point suggested I had a bath, I fell asleep in the bath listening to my hypnobirthing CD, slept for about an hour! When I got out I felt a lot of pressure and the urge to push, my midwife was still adamant that i did not look like I was in labour and kept insiting that I went home. In the end I requested to be examined and I was found to be 7cm dilated, my daughter was born 1 hour 40 minutes after that.
The midwife was obviously shocked, but by this point I'd lost all trust in her and when she was in the room my contractions would slow down, I started to really struggle to relax and it did not help that I had such a strong urge to push before I was fully dilated.
I tried my hardest not to push and when she finally said I could I just let my body do what it felt like doing. I tried to 'breathe' the baby out but I found it impossible, with each contraction, this 'mooing' sound would come out of my mouth and it felt like my whole body was convulsing downwards, I had no control over it, and I did panic a little. I kept trying to relax but really doubted myself as she kept telling me to push when my body was already doing it, then telling me not to panic when I wasn't panicking so it confused me and I thought maybe I should be panicking!
Anyway, my daughter was born safely, perfect apgar score, didn't even cry and just looked around the room, chilled out baby. But I had horrendous tears and had to spend an hour being stitched back together which I found more painful than the birth and very traumatic.
Now I'd really like to use hypnobirthing again this time and to have a better experience, I cannot afford the classes so have been listening to the CD like last time.
My questions are:
The CD I have came with the book and it has two tracks, the first one starts as '...and now it's time to relax...' the second starts as 'falling in love with your baby...' is this the same as the 'rainbow relaxation CD and affirmations that I keep reading about or are those in a differenct CD?
What can I do, to stop myself from tearing so badly this time, considering that the pushing instinct/reflex was so strong last time... how can I make sure that I can use the breathing technique whilst pushing.... the only way I can describe the way my body was pushing is like vomiting, just downwards, I just could not see where to fit in the breath!?
I know you're meant to practice on the toilet but to be honest that is what I do when I go to the toilet anyway, I breathe down, I don't tend to push or strain unless very badly constipated.
Any tips to help me not lose confidence if I come across another midwife not familiar with hypnobirthing?

The hospital have actually advised me to go in as soon as I feel the first twinge as according to their records my labour was only 1 hour 40 minutes. I know that was not the case and plan to stay at home until I feel ready again but just don't want the negative bits of my previous labour to ruin this one, particularly since hypnobirthing clearly helped and it was all going swimmingly until the last part.

Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance!

[soshanna_hayhoe]

Hi Lisa and welcome

I hadn't done HypnoBirthing with my first. I had her at home completely naturally and had the most incredibly overwhelming urge to push with her, just like you describe. I also tore, not badly, which I think is partly down to the position I was in (almost flat on my back as I had fractured my pelvis at 5.5 months pregnant and had little mobility) and the sheer speed in which she came out, her entire head and body was born in one surge! With my son I had read the USA book and listened to the CD ( I too couldn't afford classes at the time) and didn't feel that overwhelming urge to push. At one point I felt like I needed to go to the toilet but that was it. He just slipped out with a grunt from me (which is a bit like bearing down with your diaphragm). He was born really quickly, also at home, into the water. I had a skidmark as they call it. The water really does make a difference with softening and warming the perineum allowing it to unfold more gently. I recommend doing perineal massage too.

I used the breathing with great success without even thinking from all the practice when going to the loo. The more you practise breathing fully and calmly during your pregnancy the more easily you will adopt the most beneficial way of breathing during labour. If you feel like mooing when you are breathing out with the surge, go with it! Trust your body, it will guide you.

It sounds as though the midwife was more of a distraction than a help. I assume you are using the NHS and do not know which midwife will be attending your birth. I suggest writing some affirmations to address your concerns specifically and practising them regularly. Affirmations are written in the present tense, personal and positive. Like:

I birth calmly and gently over an intact perineum.
My body relaxes more and more with each surge.
Anyone present in the room just serves to deepen my relaxation.
I breathe down calmly with each birth breathe and trust my body to do what it is designed to do.
My body births my baby with eases.
etc

The CD in the book is not the Rainbow Relaxation, that is only available from practitioners when you do the course but it is the CD that I used. I give both to my couples as I so enjoyed listening to the one you have and had a wonderful birth with it.

Take care and happy birthing
Soshanna