HypnoBirthing® UK

[badmamma]

Hi,

I don't mean to post this to discourage anyone practicing hypnobirthing who hasn't given birth yet - I know quite a few girls personally who had amazing HB births.

I practiced my breathing, exercises and listened to my CD's daily in the weeks running up to my due date. I had planned a home water birth and unfortunately ended up in hospital on pethidine and had an epidural. I ran through the exercises throughout labour and listened to my CD but yet each surge was excruciatingly painful.

I had my baby almost 2 days after my initial surges started. I was really disappointed but also glad that my baby arrived safely.

My baby was born in September and my practicioner e-mailed me in November to ask how it all went. I replied honestly and said that I wasn't sure what went wrong and she still hasn't been in touch. I felt that her communication was really poor after the course too and it makes me feel angry that she can't even find the time to send me a quick reply or call me.

Sorry for the long rant but I'm now just realising that I would like to know what went wrong and does this mean it couldn't work for me the next time?

If any practicioners have the time to reply it would be really helpful.

Thanks so much.

[Danielle]

When I finish teaching course I ask the mum to tell me when she has had her baby, I leave it there and then send an email a few months later asking how it went. I don't want the mums to think I'm pestering them, being nosey or whatever.

I do it this way because after the birth of my babies I didn't have time for talking and if I did, it had to be when I called the person, if they called me it was usually while I was feeding baby/bathing baby/catching up on my sleep. I can't wait to hear about how great my mums experiences are, and sometimes the mum doesn't get the experience she wants.

After the birth of my first baby, induced at 40 weeks, I did feel completely let down by HB and even thought about givinging up teaching it, but while I was pregnant it gave me hope-which may sound silly or whatever but there is no way I would of gotten pregnant if I hadn't believed in HB. Then I went on to have a almost wonderful homebirth-so it can still be used next time.

Did you fill out the course review and birth review? I get some back months after I have sent them, and usually send an email or card to say thanks for filling that in, if the mum invites me to go and see the baby-great-I love seeing them, if she wants to talk about it not going as planned (either in person/phone/email) thats fine but I do wait for a lead from the mum.

As far as what went wrong, thats a really difficult thing to answer and I seriously doubt a practitoner could answer that unless they were there. I have only heard one person say that their surges were excruiating before, and her baby was back-to-back, has anyone said anything like that to you? You could get your hospital notes, they may help you to understand.

Try calling your practitioner and asking her if she has time to talk.

Hope this helps.
Danielle

[badmamma]

Hi Danielle

I've just sent a big reply to your private message so I won't rant on for too long.

It sounds like you're a very supportive teacher and it helps that you've been through labours using HB (mine hadn't). It's also great that you use birth reviews etc. I wish mine had!

Thanks again
Karen

[ockysmith]

Like Danielle said, it's very hard to say what happened without being there and what I would suggest you do is get hold of a copy of your notes and speak with a birth afterthoughts counsellor before you have another baby, to help you to make sense of this experience.

A big clue to me would be you had surges for two days before the event, so possibly you could have been tired, dehydrated, in need of food etc...these are all reasons for pain and lack of progress in a labour (rather than the HypnoBirthing "not working") - also there may have been a physical reason for your lack of progress (way the baby was presenting, wonky pelvis etc...) which in turn could have led to discomfort. Remember in your HypnoBirthing classes being taught about "5% of women experience a special circumstance?" it sounds like you were in that category.

..........but please don't say "HypnoBirthing didn't work for me" - it sounds like it got you through your two day latent labour, it would have hugely benefitted you and your baby putting in all of that pracice when pregnant and I'm sure it's helping you parent now, HypnoBirthing is *never* wasted, no matter how the birth pans out.............

As to what you could do differently next time, I've already mentioned the birth afterthoughts and getting hold of your notes, you could also visit a hypnotherapist (not just a HypnoBirthing practitioner) to work on your previous birth and I would highly recommend you visit a chiropractor before conceiving to check out the alignment of your pelvis/spine etc...like you my first birth was pretty horrible, long and drawn out and I had entonox and an epidural (and a transfer to hospital in an ambulance from a planned home waterbirth). Since then though I've had two beautiful home waterbirth using HypnoBirthing - it was these births that led me to teach as I now how damaging a traumatic birth can be and how cathartic a "good" one can be, HypnoBirthing helped me to reach that point of peace.

Finally, re: your practitioner. I too don't chase parents after the course for a brith report. They know how to get hold of me if they have questions, they know how to get hold of me to tell me how it went (I don't email to ask as I hate to chase - for similar reasons as Danielle and also if it didn't go to plan they need time to process first). Perhaps she did reply to you and you just never received it, my email is notorious for going wonky!

[badmamma]

Thanks Ocky

That's a good tip about the chiropractor, I will try that for sure.
I think what shocked me was the pressure that came with each surge. I so wanted to lie down and breath through the surge but the pressure was so strong in my bottom and back that I could only stand each time and lean over my fireplace. I found that incredibly tiring.

I might look into seeing a hypnotherapist too if I fall pregnant again.

Thanks again
K

[Lee McCormack]

the pressure was so strong in my bottom and back that I could only stand each time

That sounds to me like your baby was in the back to back position which is not the optimal position for birth and can cause a longer and more " uncomfortable " birth.

I had a back to back labour with my son and even though i am a HB teacher i too was quite shocked at how intense the pressure was.

Again I would suggest that you get hold a copy of your notes . I was very lucky in that i was able to use this forum to get feedback and validate my experience after the birth of my son so even though my labour and birth experience was nothing like how i expected it to be ,i know now that it could have been very different had he been in a better postion .I can now accept that it wasn't anything that i did / didn't do or that HB didn't work for me but it was a case of that i was just unlucky that he moved into that position.

I really do hope that you are able to make peace with what happened.. i know that i'm only just resolving it now and my son is 11 months old.

Wishing you well,
Lee

[badmamma]

Thanks Lee

My best friend had her first baby this week at home and the midwife confirmed he was back to back and the description of her surges were the exact same as mine. I know I want to have another baby at some point and will consider HB again. My partner is not so sure!

[chloechatnoir]

hello, don't lose the faith! both my sons were back to back and the first time round i hadn't even heard of hypno birthing and spent 2 days and night in extreme agony! but knowledge is power and the second time round having practised the hypnobirthing techniques I was able to have surges in the bed for 3 hours lying next to my husband without him waking up! When we were in the car on the way to the birthing centre I felt that familiar pressure and knew my baby had gone back to back, I almost lost it and started to panic because i told myself i wouldnt be able to cope again but I discarded that thought and carried on breathing.

When we arrived and I was examined I was told I was 8cm but the midwife didn't believe he was back to back. I got in the pool and carried on, partly wondering if I was going crazy but felt sure I knew that familiar pressure, urge to pooh etc (it didn't help that my waters still hadn't released so had the added pressure of that) I carried on determined to not let my mind take over and 40 minutes after getting in the pool i breathed out my little finlay, back to back of course! I have dvd evidence of the midwife saying "goodnes I never would have known" and she had been at 2 hypnobirths before!

I know its hard but don't lose faith in ur body, just because things didnt go to plan first time round, use that as inspiration to make sure that next time, its done your way!

[badmamma]

Thanks Chloe,

I'm not even sure she was back to back but I'm just looking for an explanation to the pressure/specific pain etc. She did come out the normal way round so she either wasn't or had managed to turn?

I might give HB a go again but I'll opt for a hospital or birthing unit so that I don't get in a mad panic if it was to happen again.

I'm saying all this but I must add that I'm not even pregnant! We are trying to decide when would be the best time for #2 though

thanks again

x