HypnoBirthing® UK

[AlfaFemale]

Hi there,

I'm 40 weeks today with our first long awaited, IVF baby. I've been having some period type sensations for the last 30 hours, and more regular Braxtons, which is exciting! We've planned a home-birth, and I am so confident about our birthing preferences. But I am having a last minute doubts about my DH not being competent enough to help me through the birthing process.

We've both done all the classes together, and have both really enjoyed them, but I just have a tiny niggle that in my hour of need DH will forget or not know some of it. I've read the whole book from cover to cover, and re-read all the material that our practitioner has provided, but DH hasn't, he's just done the classes. Sometimes, when we talk about it, I seem to be bringing up things that he doesn't seem that aware of. An example tonight was we were talking about the acupressure that our practitioner taught us, and he had no idea about one of the important pressure points. So, unable to sleep I've come down at this early hour to make notes and bookmark pages to help direct him. But I wondered if any of you had any words of advice/reassurance??

Another niggle I have in the back of my mind is that I didn't find some of the methods very helpful in me relaxing. The Rainbow Relaxation is great, and I've almost always ended up dozing off, sometimes waking up when the track has finished. But I found the the glove relaxation, depthometer, and sensory gate valve difficult to visualise. Is the Rainbow Relaxation enough on its own?

Also my anchor is to have my hair stroked, as this has ALWAYS relaxed me, even when I've been very upset, but we have not practiced this in combination with the relaxation scripts.

I also wonder if DH/I'll know when to change my breathing style.

I'm sure all this is because I'm so close to my baby's birthing day, so I guess I just need you all to give me a slap maybe! LOL

[Danielle]

Hi
I've been teaching since 2002 and as far as I know acupressure points are not part of the course, so don't worry about him not knowig this, sometimes practitioners feel that they have to add stuff in-stuff that in my mind is not needed (hey I got through 2 births, one induced with no acupressure).

Lots of mums worry that their birth partner won't be up to it on the day but its never been an issue on the day, the more you worry the more stress your causing yourself so stop it! I wrote down the most important bits down for my partner (he never attended the course) for me this was staying with me, lots words of encouragement, drinking and eating and going to the toilet, getting me to move about.

If I told you to visulaise a kitchen, either a kitchen from your near or distane past, maybe a friends kitchen one from a house you have lived in before, could you do it? If you can then you can visualise enough to do any of the techniques. It doesn't matter if its in colour or black and white or the amount of detail.

Lots of people find it hard to know when to change from slow/surge breathing to birth breathing, basically when you feel like you need a poo or when the midwife tells you to start pushing. Its pretty unlikely that DH will know, I've been to several births and can't tell, so don't put too much pressure on him! It sounds like your getting ready to blame him for not being prepared even if things don't go according to plan, sometimes, no matter how prepared everyone is things take a different turn and its no-ones fault.

If having your hair stroked has helped you then it will, it doesn't matter if you have never practised it.

If the rainbow relaxation relaxes you to the point where you felt like nodding off then it will help you relax during the birth of your baby (but why if your aslepp do you wake up at the end?-because you just relaxed and it says if your at a time when you can go to sleep then go to sleep or if you need to wake up then wake up, or something similar). I teach the dethopmeter/glove etc as one script then break it down for people to see, and practice in class as separate bits as people find it easier/more helpful that way. This allows the mum to choose the bit tshe likes best, or two and then they keep practising that, as well as rainbow. You could call your practitioner and ask her/him to do that.

Finally stop worrying, enjoy these last few special days of having your beautiful baby indside you, relax, go for reflexology, go for a walk, or something,

Hope this helps and you managed to get to sleep, I'll be around all day-if you have more questions etc,
Danielle

[AlfaFemale]

Hi Danielle,

Our practitioner is an ex-midwife but she's also a qualified acupressurist, hence why she passed on the info, and it actually worked really well as I had a consultant apt one day and head was not engaged, DH & I did acupressure that night and the next day we had a Midwife apt and the head was 1/5 palpable! Plus I'm all for any tools that we can use to give me a better chance of staying at home with our birthing pool!

It's not that I think that DH isn't up to it, I was just concerned that he hadn't done as much post-teaching swatting as I had, and with the gaps in his knowledge it just threw up a bit of a concern last night, I'm certainly not getting ready to blame him, we simply don't have that kind of relationship. I think last night I just had a moment of panic as I feel much calmer today.

Oh, and I actually had reflexology on Tuesday, very nice it was too. Another ex-Midwife!

Thanks for replying to my message and giving me a 'slap'!

Regards, Tracey

[Danielle]

My last ababy (homebirth), I had reflexolgy (40 weeks and 5 days) on tuesday and baby was born at 6:45 on Thursday evening-so will keep my fngers crossed that it will happen soon.

Jake was also born at home, no pain, 9lb 4!

[Juliette]

Hiya,
The hypnobirthing gives you lots of different tools to work with - not all of them work for everyone and as it has been posted earlier find the ones that work well for you and go with them.
My husband came to the classes with me but never read the book and only read over the scripts once!!! I had all his instructions laid out for him on the dining room table a few days before she was due. I knew that she would be born in that pool in the front room - I never once doubted it.... and so she was.
I was only listening to the rainbow relaxation and doing the breathing techniques - that was all "I" needed - each birth is so different - relax and enjoy it - I am sure DH will be a great a support for you - just my husband being in the room was reasurance enough for me.
Keep us posted
Julie